How we are thinking wrong about intimacy | HEDØNE

Intimacy. It’s a word that’s often misunderstood, simplified, or reduced to physical closeness. But what if we’ve been looking at it all wrong? What if intimacy is more than candlelit dinners, grand gestures, or just sex? At HEDØNE, we think it’s time to rethink what intimacy means—and how we experience it.

 

The Problem: A Narrow View of Intimacy

Too often, intimacy is seen as something you do with someone else. It’s portrayed in movies as steamy nights or heartfelt confessions. While those moments are part of it, they’re just the tip of the iceberg. This narrow view can make intimacy feel unattainable for some or put unnecessary pressure on relationships to “feel intimate” 24/7.

Here’s the truth: intimacy starts with you. It’s about understanding yourself, your needs, and your desires. Without that foundation, it’s hard to truly connect with anyone else.

 

Redefining Intimacy: Connection at Its Core

At its heart, intimacy is about connection. Not just with others, but with yourself.

It’s all about:

Knowing Yourself: Understanding what makes you happy, what excites you, and what comforts you—even when no one else is around.

Emotional Safety: Feeling secure enough to express your true self, whether you’re alone or with someone else.

Presence: Being fully in the moment, free from distractions or expectations, to truly feel what’s happening.

 

NOW... How Our Thinking Holds Us Back

Here are three common ways we get intimacy wrong:

• We equate intimacy with romance. Intimacy doesn’t have to be romantic. It can be found in deep conversations with friends, laughing with someone who gets you, or even a quiet moment with yourself.
• We see it as a milestone, not a journey. Many people think intimacy is something you “achieve” in a relationship, like a box to check off. In reality, it’s a continuous process that grows and evolves.
• We overlook solo intimacy. Being intimate with yourself—exploring your body, your thoughts, and your emotions—is just as important as connecting with someone else. It’s not selfish; it’s foundational.

 

 

So the question is. How Can I Rethink its Definition?

Let’s flip the script. Here’s how you can embrace a new perspective on intimacy:

• Prioritise You: Make time for self-care, not as a luxury but as a necessity. Explore what feels good to you, physically and emotionally. Don’t wait for someone else to give you permission to prioritise yourself.

• Focus on Quality, Not Quantity: Intimacy isn’t about how much time you spend with someone but the depth of connection during those moments. A five-minute heartfelt conversation can be more intimate than hours of small talk.

• Embrace Vulnerability: Real intimacy requires letting your guard down. It’s scary, but it’s also what makes relationships meaningful. Start small, even if it’s just being honest with yourself

 

Why This Matters

When we rethink intimacy, we open ourselves to richer, more fulfilling experiences. We stop chasing an idealised version of connection and start building something real. Whether it’s with a partner, a friend, or yourself, intimacy becomes less about meeting expectations and more about truly being present.

At HEDØNE, we’re all about redefining what it means to feel good. True intimacy isn’t just about the moments you share with others—it’s about the relationship you have with yourself. And that’s where the magic begins.

 

So, take a moment. Breathe. Check in with yourself. That’s intimacy. And it’s worth every second.